HELLO MY DEAR READERS (:
Happy 2014!!
I'm a lot better now, (: .
And as usual, any hate goes HERE
I will upload my like, regular kinda post with pictures soon (:
But for today, I need to get something off my chest.
Have you ever met someone, who genuinely wants to help you,
but they end up agitating you instead?
Well for those of you who don't know.
I don't have a very happy past.
I'm an emotional person. Hahahah who wouldn't know that :P
Okay, that aside.
Recently someone tried to help me.
They told me like
"Hey Val you're going through depression and I know you need someone to talk to "
So on and so forth.
Honestly if you ask me, I'm not going through depression
and I don't need medical help.
I'm just going through a tough time.
Everyone does at some point in their life (:
Don't get me wrong. I really am very grateful for friends like that.
They did help me. As in, end of the day everyone just wants someone there.
Everyone needs someone.
But here's the thing.
You do NOT go up to someone who cuts and go
"You know something, stop cutting, be positive, be normal "
Let me just straighten this here.
To people who cut, cutting is normal to them because if they don't,
they'll probably go insane. It's an addiction.
The sense of relief you feel is like.. Wow.
Really.
But the thing is that. They want to stop. But they need a reason to stop.
They need to learn to eventually love themselves again.
And telling them that they are not normal for cutting or whatsoever,
it's just... not right.
Like yes I know these people want to help.
But what if you say something wrong and the person loses it?
Yknow what I mean?
End of the day, all they want is for someone to
not go against them, but fight alongside them.
Be with them. When they're struggling, help them.
Don't shoot them down.
Because to you it may be easy not to be affected.
But to someone who has depression, even the littlest things have the biggest impacts.
One of the sentences a friend of mine said that struck me was
"See, we're both facing the situation, but I'm being optimistic about it "and ...
something along the lines of the person just being negative and not looking on the bright side.
Well let me first say. You may THINK that you're able to put yourself in the situation
that the other person is currently facing.
But you'll never understand the way that they react because...
YOU'RE PRETENDING.
It's so easy to pretend. Because it's not an existing problem for you.
But the problem is VERY MUCH REAL and existent to the other person.
So they can't just "Look on the bright side and all will be alright"
Because unlike you, IT DOESN'T GO AWAY.
It stays and haunts you every moment of your life.
It's never easy.
And honestly. I think people with depression.
They have the head knowledge.
They KNOW they need to love themselves,
they KNOW that they should look on the bright side.
But the thing is .
They CAN'T.
And they don't require more head knowledge because the knowledge is already there.
They just need someone to love them.
To care for them.
They feel hopeless and lonely.
THAT is what the friends of the person should be targeting,
not teaching them how to deal with their situations.
Honestly, I'm not angry or whatsoever.
I just felt that I needed to get this off my chest.
Because sometimes the people who help ,
you end up dampening the poor suffering person even further.
Like, they know you mean well and they are very grateful.
But don't 'yue bang yue mang' [read as chinese]
Because if eventually it starts doing more harm than good,
then the friends will start blaming themselves.
But the thing is that it isn't their fault,
they just didn't know.
And usually the person will just keep silent and nod their head
no matter what you say.
But it never goes in. Because the head knowledge is already there.
So I hope this blog post doesn't offend anyone,
and also helps some people know how to deal with friends who are
down and ready to give up .
And whoever needs a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear,
I'm here for you (:
We can get through this together
Thank you for reading! I'll go back to my sorta regular posts soon (:
TATA!!
Much love,
Bunny x
