So hello.
I haven't blogged in like. A super duper long time . :P
Okay so my class went to Adventure Cove yesterday, and I started a new job
at a Lego shop in Marina Square today. But that isn't the point of my blog post
Oh. And also, I STARTED PLAYING COOKIE CLICKER DAMN. HAHAH
Okay to my real motive for posting on my blog after forever.
I'm gonna spew out a lot with regards to my feelings
So if you don't like feelings like me,
I promise I really don't like feelings.
I wish I didn't have them.
But if you don't like them,
You can click HERE to spam my askfm with hate questions (:
Okay so .
Basically if you have read my older posts before,
You would know that I was crazily liking someone.
Let's call him 'TJ' . Coz that's what used to be his name on my phone
Before I changed it to something else hahahah .
Okay so basically all my previous posts about night terrors and all that shit?
It was about TJ.
Whether you know who TJ is or not it doesn't matter okay.
If you know, you know. :P
Okay so .. The last post about that shit was like in December?
Or the beginning of Jan.
It is now the end of Feb.
So for one month, my emotions were pretty much completely fine
in terms of the love department.
Ofcourse I'm putting aside the fact that I broke down in stress a couple of times.
Okay. So I really thought I had put this entire 'TJ and I' thing behind me.
That I've actually moved on and all that.
And I was genuinely happy, I really was.
But somehow within the last... week?
Or at most 1.5 week.
My heart decided to be an ass [ yes this doesn't make sense]
And decided to make my head think about the past and stuff.
And.. I'm just gonna be really honest coz he doesn't read my blog.
I really do miss those times.
From Jan till Feb, I really did try to not care
But I know that I still liked him.
He on the other hand,
decides to play games.
One second he's like the sweet guy I used to know,
the next second he's some coldhearted jerk.
I'm really tired of playing such games.
So I just gave up trying to talk to him.
And I tried to move on .
[but apparently to no avail]
So... now here I am being in the same damn position that I was in previously.
Maybe not caring as much,
but caring enough.
Which sucks.
I just want to really move on
Coz I don't want to be part of those stupid hot and cold games anymore.
I'm just gonna turn les or something.
I'm really tired of wondering if he ever still likes me or not.
So val . This is your answer.
HE DOES NOT
I'm not gonna wait around
and hope anymore.
I really am gonna move on.
I know I've said this a few times.
But I seriously mean it
I'm pissed and I'm tired.
And I want to be happy so screw you , TJ
Screw you for making life so tough
coz I was nice enough to play your damn games with you.
Screw you.
So Imma just share about what made me so pissed.
Yeah I've been overly hopeful the past month I guess
And now I'm like slapping myself with reality in hope that I finally
wake up and realise that I should stop.
And I will. Eventually.
So basically one day I was really stressed up and stuff.
[Thank God assignments all submitted. YAY HOLIDAYS]
And I broke down.
The funny thing about breaking down is.
You'd think your close friends would be the ones there for you.
But for that night, that wasn't the case.
I was bawling my eyes out.
And the people who came and talk to me
were the people I'd never expect to ever care for me that much
Thank you so much Jean Long and Valerie.
Your words and encouragement really did warm my heart
and made me feel so much better.
On the other hand,
TJ , who is SUPPOSEDLY a good friend of mine.
It's pretty obvious I was upset coz I blabbered stuff on twitter
[yes I tend to blabber a lot ]
And he did drop a whatsapp.
Oh you'd think it'd be a
'You ok?'
or 'Cheer up'
Or something along those lines.
but guess what it was
IT WAS HIM ASKING FOR A FAVOUR TO
HELP HIM FIND A GIRL FOR A JOB THAT
HE PROMISED TO HELP WEIZHANG AND I GET IN.
[brb fuming omg ==]
I was honestly boiling.
Like. HELLO CAN'T YOU SEE THAT THIS IS A BAD TIMING
I'm bawling my eyes out here and you can ASK ME FOR A FAVOUR?
FOR SOMETHING YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO ... UGH I CAN'T EVEN
Even thinking about it now makes me so mad to the point of tears
Haha how funny Val if you cry I'm gonna slap you in the face.
Yes I just talked to myself.
Anyways, from then on I changed his name from
TJ to Insensitive piece of shit.
Not that it makes that much of a difference haha
But I felt a bit better.
*And let me just say how proud I am at myself
for not exploding at him that night and VERY calmly replying
'Now's not a good time haha , I'll help you ask in the morning tho '
Like. Honestly if you ask me for a REASONABLE favour
I would willingly do it.
BUT COME ON.
YOUR SENSE OF TIMING IS THAT BAD?
So don't you EVER give me that bullshit about
how we're good friends and I can trust you and
you've got my back and that kinda shit.
Because you don't.
ChickenMcNugget you.
I'm so disappointed and hurt.
And I am WAITING for the day
That my heart finally decides to stop being an ass
So that you can stop crushing it
WHETHER YOU KNOW IT OR NOT.
Okay sorry that this post is so angry.
I'll post about my new job and Adventure Cove on Saturday
Why Saturday? Coz my new job basically is me sitting in a shop for 9 hours.
Doing nothing. So I'll blog then
Sorry once again for my outburst.
Thanks for reading and sticking by me tho <3
Bunny x
