SCROLL DOWN FOR HAPPY THOUGHTS
So... hi?
HAHAHA I don't even know where or how to start blogging.
And I know. I haven't been posting happy posts.
I know I know.
And honestly, this isn't exactly a happy one either.
So if you're looking for happy posts,
they'll be back soon.
I promise.
But for now, I'm just going through a really tough period.
And I just want to give up.
Every single day, it's a struggle
it's a war in my head.
A fight to stay alive and not kill myself.
It sucks to see how much I've plunged downward.
And how close I am to relapsing into depression once more.
I don't want to go back.
But the amount of sadness I feel the instance I wake up.
Increases as the day goes by.
By the time I go to sleep,
My pillow is soaked with tears
and I'm ready to just
Close my eyes and never open them again.
Someone, somehow please take me back to the times where I used to be so happy.
Everything's going wrong.
And I'm feeling so alone.
I really am.
Maybe I'm wallowing in self-pity,
sure you may despise me for that.
But honestly, my blog is just a channel for me to express my thoughts
and feelings in words.
Because I dare not do that in real life.
I try so hard every single day not to cry in front of anyone.
I'm just constantly trying to keep it together.
Everyone around me tells me that I'm a strong girl.
But honestly, I'm not.
I am crumbling every single second.
And I don't know how much longer I can keep it together
I'm not as strong as what others think.
I wish I was.
ANYWAYS
here's some happy stuff I guess!
Halloween this year was eventful
Okay so if you didn't know, I was pikachu last year.
Yes you may now laugh at me
Okay so yup. This year I wanted to be a character from Once Upon A Time [UOAT]
But honestly I didn't have that much time to prepare my costume.
Otherwise I guess I would've been Anna from Frozen.
Ha.Ha.Ha
So this year I decided to be Red
because of Red/Ruby from UOAT
If you don't watch UOAT, you should.
Okay I know Red/Ruby is so so so so much prettier
This is what she looks like
Omg such perfection.
Anyways, I really love her character.
I guess I somewhat relate to her.
I also really relate to Mulan [except for when we last saw her. Not saying what happened coz it's such a spoiler]
And a lot to Regina. Well.. Cause we're all heartless and sad people.
Anyways.
Here's Halloween 2014!
I had 2 halloween events.
the CASS halloween event on 30 Oct,
which went pretty well (:
With Danielle. Thank you for helping me with my makeup <3
Then there's SX who had such a hard time with his mask
the entire night . HAHA
And Lynette, so cute :3
Vince came to find me coz he happened to be in school
So tadah. Pictures with "Waldo"
And here's Kenneth. I didn't have my hood
coz we took a picture at the last minute
After I removed my lip stain and hood already
And here's 05. Such a gorgeous bunch.
Sad that we will be at ITP next year and we won't
be able to spend 3 hours dressing up and doing make up
for Halloween again ):
I look slightly scary here.
Okay just a note, I was supposed to be 'evil' for this event.
I had a retractable knife. Which I lost in the party room
Oh well.
Here's the picture spam for day 1
This is my personal favourite
Okay so on 31st October
My church had an event called "Halo-wins"
You're only allowed to dress as a good character.
So.. Yup. I had a basket instead of a knife.
So here are some pictures I took
I have others but they are in someone else's phone
and hasn't been sent over yet.
[P.S - Can you guess which one of them is my sibling?]
Pretty obvious isn't it.
Yup okay that's all.
I'll be back soon.
Hopefully happier. (:
"The evil queens are the princesses that were never saved" - Maleficent
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