Confidence?

Hello!
So here's a post that's gonna reveal quite a fair bit about me.
HAHAHA why am I even gonna talk about this.
Because I've heard this phrase one too many times

"You need to be more confident in yourself"

I understand that everyone has their insecurities
And just as a disclaimer.
I'm not wallowing in self pity or anything.
This is who I am. I'm trying to improve on it slowly.
And stating it out is just me trying to take a step forward.
Out of my comfort zone.

So, if you know me.
I'm noisy, I'm straightforward, I'm obnoxious
I sound confident of myself

But [deep breath]
Honestly, every morning I wake up
I sometimes don't even wanna bother dressing up properly
Coz I know no one is gonna take a second look at me.

Recently I've been trying to dress better.
Wear eyeliner.
And even attempt to do covers.
Trust me, it's not for anyone.
It's just a reason for me to feel better about myself.

I feel like a tiny fruit fly around any and everyone
I can never see myself as of the same level as anyone.
I'm not pretty.
I'm not smart.
I'm not capable of much.
My snooty comments and rude insults is just a way of covering my
low self esteem. HAHAHA.
But hey, it works!
It's who I am and I now love the 'sassy' part of me.

Everyone else around me seems to be the complete opposite of that.
If they aren't pretty, smart and capable, they are at least one of the three.
Sometimes I really wish I could be like that.

Someone share with me what's it like to be pretty?
Or smart.
Or... anything at all.

Anyways,
I'm gonna be off blogging for the next 5 weeks.
Because I have like 10 submissions.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH why.

And just to say once again, I'm not trying to wallow in self pity.
This is who I am and I've accepted it.
I'm just curious to what it's like to be one of the regular people.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having low self confidence.
Legit. I think it helps us create a defensive kinda wall to protect ourselves.
And we eventually learn to accept ourselves and acknowledge this issue.
And I'm somewhat thankful for it.

Do I even make sense?
I don't know. I just typed whatever was on my mind.
As usual :P

ANYWAYS Imma just leave you with the photos from party in the park last Thursday :D

Thanks for reading!

Bunny x

alis volat propriis