Because I've been having a really bad week so far.
Yes I do realise it's only been 2 days.
But yeah. This is gonna be a pretty sad post
Because. Well. Life happens.
We have our ups and our downs.
But I've reached a whole new level of down.
Without being in depression, of course.
I feel like there's the bottom of the ocean,
50 meters of poop, then there's me.
Well basically I'm starting to regret decisions I made.
Giving up cheer for my other commitments,
Ever thinking I could for once just being genuinely happy.
Recently it just feels as if everything and everyone is putting me down.
I'm trying to survive.
Pushing my head into the water, trying to drown me.
Yet I kick and swing my arms frantically,
forcing my head against the force and taking deep breaths,
breathing whatever amount of air my lungs can contain.
And it continues.
I understand that not necessarily everyone would like me
Because I'm that brutally honest.
But I'm sick of people going like
"Eh Val this Val that Val rages like no tomorrow"
To these people I say, yes I may lose my temper sometimes.
I get emotional.
But compared to last year?
I honestly think I've grown so much.
And if you can't see that, you're not a friend. Simply put.
And it saddens to see that so many people can't see that.
And it saddens me even more to have the people I thought were friends,
go around and say "Eh I don't like Val because dadadada" .
Isn't this very secondary school?
Like if you don't like something about me,
just say it in my face.
Why be a two-headed snake?
And also, I know your designs are waaaaaay better than mine will ever be
and I recognise that you dislike me. Fine.
But the way you phrase your words could be nicer.
Or even more professional, don't even talk about being nice here.
Jeesh.
It's funny how the people who used to confide in you
to say that they trust you and all
Turn out to be the people who stab you .
Right in the back.
WOOHOO knives are fun, aren't they?
Hahaha I'm so sick of everything.
Sick of this social world.
Sick of this home and everything.
I just wanna actually put my head in water and never come out.
Okay I shall stop here if not I think I could just keep going on
Sorry. ):
But nonetheless thank you for reading.
And if you're from DMC05 and reading this,
thank you for making my year 2 life so wonderful.
See you tomorrow (:
Bye!
Bunny x
I hope all the shitty things in your life just disappear and leave you with nothing but lessons learnt.
ReplyDeleteAnd that the things that bring you happiness and love never cease to multiply.
Not bullshitting or saying this for the sake of pretending to be some saint,
but I genuinely believe that everyone deserves the right to be happy.
Especially the good people.
And Valerie, you're a good person.
I sure as hell don't think you're perfect (no one is. not you, not me, nobody),
but sincerely speaking, you're one of the good ones.
You will get through this,
just like how you overcame all the challenges you've been faced with in your life thus far,
and the same goes for so many more of those that are yet to come.
I don't really know what else to say,
but know that when you're feeling miserable, depressed, or just downright pissed,
it doesn't make me feel good at all to see you that way.
But every time I hear your laughter from across the room or catch a glimpse of your smile as I'm passing by,
in my heart I feel really glad and secretly hope that that joy sticks with you for as long as it possibly can.
And by saying all this, from out of the blue,
I want nothing at all in return,
except for you to know it.
Cheers Val :))
Keep your head high alright?
(this is supposed to be deep and meaningful so try not to look at my Handsome Squidward profile pic if possible, i think it kinda ruins things. thanks)
Thank you Renae. You're an angel I swear <3
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